Googoo for Gaga

I have a confession to make: I love Lady Gaga.

Being an avid rock fan, those words are bitter coming out of my mouth, but her music is just...so good.  Yet she is so strange.  Some people defend her by claiming she is an artist who "lives" her art.  Well, artist or not, I still think she is ridiculous.  So, with that, here are what I deem the 7 worst Gaga outfits.

7. The Planet Uranus.

Apparently her orbit is off as her bodygaurd helps her walk straight.

 

6. The Iceberg.

The real reason The Titanic went down.

 5. The Long Lost Borrower.

Those Borrowers love their buttons, even the hairy ones.

4. The Planet Uranus Part II.

Her orbit looks a little better in this one.

3. The Lobster Nurse.

Not really sure about this one. My only guess is that she was trying to raise awareness for some form of lobster paralysis.

2. The Human T-Bone.

For every animal you don't eat, she will eat 12.

And of course, I saved the best for last...

1. Lady Gaga as Kermit the Frog.

Does Jim Henson know about this?

I really wish this list was longer.  

Oh, and here are a few honorable mentions. They didn't make the final cut for various reason, but they need to be seen nonetheless. 

The Bird's Nest.

The Legend of Creepy Hollow.

This outfit did not make the VS Christmas catalog. But it was a good attempt.

Stay tuned for the next Gaga list that will specifically cover her "hats."

The last hurrah

As I return from the latest sizzler trip in Cancun, Mexico, I'm cannot help but feel a bit glum.  While I got to hang out with the coolest people in the world and enjoy the beauty of the country around me, I can't help but be sad that that was my last sizzler.  It's hard to say goodbye to such an amazing company like Southwestern and the people you work with because they are truly a breed above anyone else you'll ever meet.  With that, here are some of my favorite memories from the trip.

Our resort: The Grand Oasis

The beach in the morning

Our human replica of the Chichen Itza "calendar."

Only Eliav would bring rollerskates to Cancun and try to go down the stairs with them.

And leave it to SkyMall to sell zombie statues for your yard.  I want five.

Even though I ended up missing Thanksgiving with my family, I am so grateful for the opportunity to work with such awesome people, not to mention, if it weren't for the company I would probably not exist.  Sigh.  I guess there's still the ski trip.

Flight frenzy

So with all the hullabaloo about the new TSA laws I thought I might offer my own two cents as to how airport safety could be improved. And here are 7 reasons why I think current airport security is silly.

1. If somebody really wants to hijack a plane, they aren't going to sneak their weapons in through security, they will get some insider to place box cutters or such under all seats in row 11 of whatever airline they plan to hijack.  Sound familiar? Now there may be a few exceptions by some fools who think they can make a statement or some mumbojumbo, but that's why they have professional bouncers checking IDs right?

2. Full body scans are an invasion of privacy. Let's just cut to the chase: I don't want some rando looking at my tatas. 

3. Pat downs? I don't care if you are a woman, don't touch me.  Plus, I mean, we're all infidels, so actually, don't go touching nobody.

4. Enough with the liquids already.  I would just like to take enough sunscreen to last me the week so that I don't get skin poisoning again.  Plus I am tired of having to chug my water bottle everytime I get in line...I always have to pee right when the plane begins to board.

5. For those of us who care about our health enough not to eat processed foods, animals injected with growth hormones, etc.  I would like to respectfully decline that extra dose of radiation.  Thanks though, it was a kind offer.

6. The only thing more sickening than some pimpled punk looking at my full body scan, is going to be the size of the security lines. Please arrive 9 hours before departure.

7. If President Obama doesn't have to show his birth certificate to be President of the good old US of A, then I sure as hell ain't showing my stuff to get on that plane.



So, in light of all this, I think the best solution to prevent terrorists from hijacking planes is to loan every legal adult on each flight one of these:

Who is going to try to take over a plane when everyone on it is packing?

The Temper Trap - Fader

I hear this song on the radio a lot.  It reminds me of something, but I haven't been able to figure out what yet.  

The Four Seasons - December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night) [with lyrics]

TV Wisdom

So I came across this quote while watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  It pretty much sums up typical United States politics.


Dennis: (to Mac) There's nothing you can do about taxes.
Dee: Uh, you guys might wanna think about voting every once in a while.
Dennis: What has voting ever done?
Charlie: Wha—since—what is—why are you coming dow—voting?
Dennis: Who am I supposed to vote for? Am I supposed to vote for the—the Democrat who's going to blast me in the ass or the Republican who's blasting my ass?
Mac: You see, politics is all just one big ass-blast.

 And they're also pretty intuitive about good old Hillary.

Frank: A woman in politics is like a donkey doing calculus.

Dee: There are plenty of amazing women politicians.
Frank: Name one.
Dee: Uh, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton?
Frank: Awful.
Dee: How is she awful?
Frank: Hates freedom.

one loss, another victory.

So a coworker of mine told me I was a fool for never having seen the original Dune movie, and seeing that it's one of my favorite books I set out on a mission to find it after leaving the polls today.  Little did I know that it was going to be nearly impossible to find.

Since I was already on the East side of town, I cruised on over to Best Buy, and naturally they didn't have it because Best Buy blows.   I then almost died on my way to Fry's Electronics because the turn onto Parker Rd. from the access road has a ridiculously steep incline.  When I saw the hemi in from of me stuggle to get up the ramp in the pouring rain, I knew my little Waldo was in for a feat.  So I shifted into first...40 seconds later I made it onto the actual road.  I'm pretty sure I destroyed my clutch in that lone incident.  But I'm alive!  

Fry's put up a valiant effort in my search since they did have the movie on Blue Ray.  Too bad I don't own a Blue Ray player. Despite my lack of high-tech instruments, the $18.99 price tag tempted me to buy it anyway.  But I decided that might be a wee bit foolish.  (Almost as foolish as the worker there who asked me what Dune was.  God help him). But since Fry's never disappoints,  it redeemed that man's ignorance by offering all seasons of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia for $16.99.  Naturally, at a price that good, I bought all of them.  That is actually a lie.  I am not rich enough to warrant spending that much on DVDs at once, so I settle for seasons 1 and 2.  The cashier there then directed me to the nearest Movie Trading Company to continue my search (go Fry's) so I thanked him and was on my way. 

Upon walking in to The Movie Trading Company, the cashiers asked me what I was looking for, and within seconds, I was holding 4 copies of the movie in my hand.  Did I want used? New? Extended edition?  They told me they all love the movie so much that they will special order it just to make sure they have at least 2 copies.  And they're pretty sure that loving the movie is a requirement to work there because the last guy that got fired from there was fired for not being a fan (although that's not what it may have said on paper).  Thank you for being funny MTC. 

And now, a mere 2 hours later, I am a proud owner of David Lynch's Dune.